My Mistakes & Life….

My Life
My Life

Well whosoever reads my blog and its post, might be wondering why I’m so a person of problem, pessimism and negative thoughts…. Well my life, as mentioned before, always consisted of some or the other incidents of sadness … few of them has struck me so hard that, the scar will be with me till the end of my life… few mistakes I committed and I’m doing right now has led me into complete change of character… well howsoever calm and joyful person I pretend to be, these mistakes leads me to the path of gloominess again and again…

1. First and foremost, I committed the mistake of arguing with my parents on certain matter… The argument at a time led me far distance off my parents… I love my parents and while doing this I felt I should be dead for this mistake…I don’t know, since I came here in Noida I have changed a lot. My calm nature is completely changed… I feel tension in every thing…I’ve become short-tempered …I’m worked on it and have succeeded a lot. I have almost overcome my short temper.

2. I was in engaged with a girl a pretty while ago. But the true realization came after a long time and a lesson. Well the case was that, initially I just wanted that girl to be with me for the sake of being together and roaming around. I would be dumping her after a certain period of time. But she loved me with her pure immotions. Meanwhile even I started to develop certain feeling about her, but when she forced me to be committed I just disclosed her my pan of being with her for certain period, for the sake of just roaming around and being together… hearing this she left me… I deserved that cause the moment she left me I realized I’m in true love with her, but it was too late by then.

3. Well this might seem quite hilarious to u… but it had an impact on me… I used to allow ten girls in total of 13 of my class during my school day to tie rakhie on my hand… I never stopped them … I don’t know why but what could be done. I had no girl left in my class to flirt around… well u might be thinking of other three… well they were not to my type and I simply hate them…(srry if anyone of them is reading it).

Mistakes

Mistakes

4. The mistake which completely changed my life was not opting for BITS, Pilani… even though I got the score quite above cut-off and I was getting CS there. I was mad for IIT-JEE. To my destiny the next year I gave the examination and got well cleared in all subjects except maths with 2 numbers below cut off, though in other two I got a very good margin from the cut off. I was so sure after giving my IIT exam that I did’nt gave AIEEE and unwillingly gave state engineering exam… well my life was heavily ravished. Thus I landed over on the state exam related cllge…

5. This mistake I’m committing ever since my childhood. Though I’m being constantly taught by my experiences that the friends are never for ever, I keep looking for someone special. I’ve been ditched many times by these so called friends. I’m quite very friendly in nature and get moved in the direction I get love. What have I always experienced is they always made benefit out of me … leaving me empty handed. I want a true friend whom I convey my feelings to get lighten up from tensions and trouble that I possess. But no one tried to understand my feelings…

6. I’m nowadays into the search of my school teachers in my college teachers. I loved my school teachers cause they were sensible enough to understand talent. I have learned that these college teachers are complete different. Favoritism prevails from the highest authority to the lowest. I’ve been taught at school and home to respect teachers. I did respecteded my school teachers, whom I considered apostle of God … well the above mistake of search made me repent four times but still I’m unknown why I’m always attracted towards these teachers in a hope to find some old forgotten faces.

Well these were few of my mistakes which I commited and still doing it…. these are just one chapter of my life.. my life consists of such pages which are not to be turned, if turned will creat chaos within me. I like buring them somwhere in the unknown corner of my unconcious part of brain.. so that never to be touched… but quite plenty of them i’ll be revealing soon in coming posts…… 

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~ by anujjha on August 18, 2008.

7 Responses to “My Mistakes & Life….”

  1. Too many mistakes for one person…

  2. hey anuj…glad u vented out what was bottling inside you for a long time….acknowledging that you have changed is the first step in understanding the reasons for it….m sure you ll soon come out of this low phase n shoot back at life once again..cheer up my friend….everything happens for the good….

  3. Mr. Jha, I do not find anything wrong with your life. Whatever has happened, I am sure, has happened with most of us. Let us go one by one.
    1. Arguing with parents is something everyone of us done. It is nothing great, however, not so uncommon also. The point is then to just forget the argument part, for they are the ones to be there for wishing you good luck in your life.
    2. In any case, the girl would have ditched you after some time, or at least there was a good chance of happening that, as only a tiny fraction of first love survives. Also, forgetting her would not be the biggest issue in your life, just you have to stop meeting her for some time and you will realise the futility of worrying over this issue so much. Also, it was not the best thing to start with the presumption that you are going to have a time pass, while she is thinking of something else. Notwithstanding all these, I find this very very common. This happens, it has to happen, and it will happen many times.

    3. Irrelevant. I do not see the point here.

    4. This was a true mistake. However, since you are a good student, as you had cleared BITS, and missed JEE by just some marks, I wonder what difference it would make in life on long term basis. Yes, the family and friends all would say that you missed here and there, but if you keep trying, I do not see any problem here. You can go to IISc for your masters to compensate for the loss of IIT. You can opt for IIMs, and be ahead of many IIT guys.

    5. The interaction with the society is at best a social construct. Whether the friends are forever or they always deceive you, by its own irony implies that you are not the only one with whom it is happening. You do not depend for your survival on your friends. If you are competent, and social, you will get friends, some will go, some will stay in touch with you. It is with everyone.

    6. Favoritism, failure to identify the merits and all, these things are present everywhere, in India and abroad. First thing is, you are not the best and at the same time not the worst. Also,what you get is not a sole function of your merits, it depends on too many parameters. Some may just have the plain luck of courting the HOD’s daughter and thereby influencing the grades or whatever. But it is everywhere the same. Why to worry about all these things, which have happened with everyone around us. Some might have been luckier, some not so. But from what I learn from your posts, I do not see anything other than the ordinary troubles.

  4. @ lover – thanks, yup that’s not all of it, yet there are more to come.

    @ Parul gupta – thankyou, yup there some of the negative things which remained in myself. I wanted to move out of it. Hence I thought of it.

  5. @ Kaushal – I’m pleased at ur comment and concern. well dude…it may be a petty little thing for some but such things clearly changed my self….
    1. well I know we all have fought with our parents at some point of time but I mentioned about a serious relation gap b/w me and my parents…and I believe it is not the thing to be getting aay with it without caring about the behavior we had with them…do u..but not me…well I like that parent always care for us 4 they do…till the end of their life…If go through my blog there is espicially a post for parents….

    2. well my dear fiend the first love is something which we remember even when we get old with many grand children…lucky are those who get those who they love…for me atleast it is impossible to forget my first love…

    3. well I see it to be relevent…the girls I used to have crush during school days tied me rakhee…and I was shy enough not to confess

    4. thanks for it was my mistake…which can never be forgotten.

    5. that’s what was the problem with me…I always trusted my friend…as I was a good student…various person tried to be my friend..I reciprocated positively…and that it I was always cheated

    6. well…thanks 4 that idea but there is a hitch…HOD’s daughter is just in class 4th …well u haven’t seen politics at my college…its beyond explanation and everything…I know it prevails everywhere but what concerns me is me…what I deserve I should atleast get…

    now what I feel was that u were the best of all comment giver…cause ur writing gave me more strength to produce the crediblity of my post and my mistskes

  6. hi! im thinking of my mistakes right now before facing the 2010!
    it was so damn unforgotten cause it was about my study!

    i lied in family. i told them that i already graduated in college and i just dont want to attend my graduation!

    i almost keep this secret for a whole year of 2009!
    it was a big mistake i ever had! and i cant get over it!

    now i cant help myself but cry!

  7. Dear Anuj,
    First let me tell you how I reached your blog here.. I was boggled with the mistakes I had done in my life and thought of searching for if there was someone similar to me..
    now after reading your post.. what I can basically say is all your mistakes are IRRELEVANT as Kaushal says for #3 as there are bigger mistakes in life that a growing up kid can do.. Now that you have written them off.. pls forget them and go as a go-getter in your life.. come back and visit this page 5 years down the line.. and then think if what I say makes send or not…
    and lastly regarding #2, believe me you did not love that girl.. what made you regret is losing what ever you had and fear of not able to get a better girl..

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